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03 April 2010 @ 02:01 am
 Okay, i have officially decided to move to wordpress. 
This good ol' journal has been with me for close to 4 years now! 
Ohhhhh, the memories! But you will not be forgotten. 

Time for a C H A N G E
30 March 2010 @ 10:11 pm
Disclaimer: The following pictures im about to post can be very disturbing to some. So if you're like a faint-hearted weakling or something, i highly suggest you don't continue scrolling down. Save yourself from all the " eees and the ahhs" alright?

It's already day 4 and i am suppose to be recovering well but hell no, my blue black's gotten so much worst. I don't know if it's like healing or anything but i just know it hurts so fucking much now. So much more than day 1! What the heck! and i was suppose to be getting better not worst! But okay, i have to admit, im partly to be blamed because i walked quite abit today, and not only that, i was in heels ( well, technically it was just kitten heels). But i had no freaking choice because i had an interview and it was a job i wanted to get, so i went all out. Took a cab there cause i think i couldn't race with the morning crowd, there'll be no seats in the train and i'll be standing.

But i decided to save money and take a train home. So much walking and waiting, and all in heels! I think that aggravated my veins or something. I had to like act really normal when i got on the bus but in my mind i was like " omg, fuck those two steps, seriously". Now i totally emphatise with the senior citizens, they must be feeling the same way too. Awwww, totally feel you guys. 

Okay, all that ranting aside, i've decided to post pictures of my bloody thigh & how about you tell me whether it's getting better or not. & also, if you've like a solution for like blue blacks, MAJOR BLUE BLACKS like this, PLEASE PLEASE SHARE WITH ME. It's really hindering my walking movements. AND IT CANNOT GO ON LIKE THIS FOREVER, I NEED TO GO BACK TO WORK ): 

THIS IS DAY 1 ( & i thought it looks bad enough already)


The pain is like a combination of muscle ache( after running 10,000km) and the usual blue black pain!
& i know my thighs look disgustingly huge. 
Current Mood: uncomfortableIN GREAT PAIN
29 March 2010 @ 12:52 am
 Arghhhh, okay, im really not in the best of moods now. Every part of my body seems to be aching / in pain. 
Firstly my thighs are still swollen probably comparable to an elephant's, with huge patches of blue blacks (biggest i've ever seen) that's making walking such a chore for me. I've to gather up enough strength to even stand up and then start walking slowly, like literally taking baby steps. I even have problems getting my legs on the bed. It feels as if it is heavily casted or something. Seriously, i hope it gets better by tmr because i've an interview on Tuesday.  A job that i really hope i'll be able to get. I don't wanna hobble there.

Just when i thought my left thigh was healing rather well, i realized there seem to be like those blister bubbles ( or whatever you call them) under my left thigh. A line of bubbles right smack at the bottom. Makes sitting so much harder because i have to be extra careful not to burst the bubble intentionally cause i'd be in more pain if that's the case. My left hip has already had some blisters due to the ripping off of the sticky bandage tape the doctors used. I felt like my whole skin was ripped off the moment they pulled it off. I think the pain is 10 times that of brazillian waxing please ( though i've never tried).

Plus i have to put like 3 types of eyedrops all at like different intervals. It's really confusing and annoying that i decided to skip some of them. Stopped taking the panadols cause i think the pain is bearable and i don't wanna be reliant on those drugs. 

Aiya, im just so annoyed i have to rant! Big thank you to everyone for their care & concern, you guys know who you are <3 & thanks to the usuals for the visit and that superman balloon, and saying/ doing silly things to cheer me up and also increase/ decrease my heart rate (very fun right? haha) 

Oh & mum was trying to be funny yesterday, she said "Go clubbing somemore la, see how you're gonna club in this state. Go la, Go zouk or butterfactory all." Wow, thanks mum. Haha, i know you're prolly secretly a tad happy that im in this state so i can't go out and about doing things you hate. Just you wait mummy! I'll be hitting the dance floor once these swollen thighs subsides! :D
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
Current Music: LMFAO - Shots
24 March 2010 @ 01:45 am
And at times i wonder.
It seems to me that my life has been quite screwed up.
I've never really been able to get what i want. Either that or it'll come right after i've settled for something else.
And i've always hated that feeling.

I must have been a really bad person in my past life i reckon.
I really hope from now on, things will take a turn for the better.

I've quite had enough of thinking why things turn out these way.
Probably like what Woman says " Everything happens for a reason"
I beg to differ.

Current Mood: pessimisticpessimistic
Current Music: Tokio Hotel - World Behind My Wall
23 March 2010 @ 03:32 am

Surprise surprise. Never expected it to be too soon either. Well, I guess it's about time anw. It's been 14 years. It's a wonder I'm still pretty healthy, alive and kicking! Hah. I must admit I'm pretty scared though. It's abit of a shock to me still, a little too sudden.

For the better or for the worst, let's hope it's not the latter.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

Current Location: 1.3355,103.9413
12 March 2010 @ 03:02 am

Alright I swear I feel like my legs are gonna die on me. It's aching and so is my back. Funny how I was so used to standing for hours everyday back then at work and now, just an 8 hour shift is enough to kill me. I must be getting old.

Job hunt isn't looking too good. Still can't find one that I'm interested in.

Here I am typing this cause I actually think insomnia has oh so kindly returned after a long while. And I also think my screwed up body clock is part of the reason as well. It seems like I'm not able to sleep until the clock hits 3. This is bad.

Okay my fingers are tired from typing already. Goodnight , and I shall attempt to drift into deep sleep.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

Current Location: 1.3341,103.9418
Current Music: Secrets- one republic
11 March 2010 @ 02:07 am
Humiliated myself enough.

Like a book that's left open for far too long, the pages have turned yellow.
As the day goes, as winds pass, the pages somehow manages to flip till the book shuts.
& that's exactly how it's going to be.

Took me way too long to realise what a joke i am.
Slowly, im losing every bit of me.
This is absurd - what have i turned into?
It has finally jolted me into realizing how i've screwed up my life.

We're the victims of ourselves.

Current Music: Adam Lambert - Whataya want from me
09 March 2010 @ 10:27 pm
 Wow, i actually stayed home today, how rare is that? Anyway, it wouldn't last more than a day, unless im sick or something. Most of the time, i like to be out and about! Can't seem to keep my ass at home though.

Did SOME productive things like vacuuming my room  ( solely my room cause one minute i was quite enthusiastic about cleaning the whole house, and the next, i was like argh, whatever, im too tired and i'll just do mine. So i guess this is what period does to you aye - mood swings!) , painting my toe nails ( tried painting my fingers but it turned out hideous after doing my left hand), made a hair appointment tmr and erm, i guess that was about it.

Just earlier i was watching Teen Cribs on MTV, and OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS, HOW IN THE WORLD DO THESE KIDS GET SO DAMN LUCKY?! No seriously, im not exaggerating. Their houses are as big as probably those of celebrities! They have their own cinema with a popcorn machine, their own fully equipped gym, a play room with pool table & arcade games, a huge swimming pool & hot tub & SO MUCH MORE. Wow, im impressed. Strangely though, it was kinda motivational. Makes me wanna work hard, earn big money and get a house like this someday!

That aside, im still quite pissed with my folks for not letting me go to bintan with my usuals. IT'S JUST BINTAN AND IT'S ONLY 2 DAYS 1 NIGHT! That's even shorter than a chalet stay! >>:( They didn't even try to rationalize with me, or maybe we could talk about it and compromise or something?! No. The only sentence that came out from my mother's mouth were " NO NO NO NO NO." Tell me, how do i carry on convincing them with such response that doesn't make you feel like talking anymore. They always say " Life's short, you should eat anything you want" but why can't they apply that to travelling as well?!

It's not like i asked for this heart condition & it's not like i had a choice. But still i think me and sis accepted it very well and we are behaving like every normal kid, not trying to let this condition of our hinder anything in our lives. The only thing now that im asking for is to let me go overseas with my FRIENDS, since you don't even bring us on holidays anymore, since like i was primary 4?! The rest were all thanks to club rainbow. If they didn't have any annual trips, i bet i would have been stuck in Singapore for 10 years and counting. Argh, okay, whatever, talking about it makes me fuming mad.

Okay, i got a $10 voucher from Spotlight. Im thinking i should head down and see what junk i can get from there.

& i think my lappy is about to die on me. It's sending me signs. Firstly my laptop takes ages to shut down, or rather it doesnt shut down even after waiting for close to half an hour. Next, my itunes is always on and off. Like it can be playing my song for one minute and the next thing i know, it shuts down on its own. Shit, i think i need to get a hard disk soon to back up all my data. ALL THOSE PICTURES AND SONGS! :O This is bad,really bad. Ugh, why is everything screwing up?
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
Current Music: Muse - Undisclosed Desires
01 March 2010 @ 01:08 am
Okay, Full Stop. I think i've finally understood.
Everything that was once blurred or which i failed to see are slowly becoming more defined.
It's okay. I have already made my decision awhile ago, this is just a confirmation to it.

Curiosity kills the cat.
But it beats living in denial.
Current Mood: determineddetermined
Current Music: If we ever meet again - Timbaland ft Katy Perry
22 February 2010 @ 02:09 am
It's times like these that i really hate. Having to think of so many things after an exhausting day at work. When will i ever be able to be carefree and not have to worry about this and that? & i've brought upon myself alot of unecessary thinking as well. Sometimes i just hope i can stop my mind from wandering too far off!

Im losing money again this CNY. A little luck perhaps? ):
Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted
Current Music: Coldplay - In My Place